My online persona as PHOENIXRISING was born years ago out of a need to feel connected with a different part within my soul which wanted healing as I struggled within my marriage.  My then husband had had many affairs and the most recent finding of him with another woman sent me into a downward spiral where I learned slowly that I was in desperate need of mental health professionals to overcome what had been infused into my being.....that I must accept his behavior and forgive and keep quiet for the sake of a happy "looking" family.  So, with the acquisition of the internet......I set forth on a search for information to help me learn how to heal.  I believed I could envision change and that it would occur.  While it is true that this can and does happen.......it only happens when you work hard at it. In layman's terms:  you cannot will a pot of water to boil.....you must turn the heat up!  

The PHOENIX rose from the depths of the ashes and was transformed anew.  I am PHOENIXRISING in my world.  I want you to be as well, in yours.

a little history of the Phoenix: A phoenix is a mythical bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends.) It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (literally "sun-city" in Greek). It is said that the bird's cry is that of a beautiful song. The Phoenix's ability to be reborn from its own ashes implies that it is immortal, though in some stories the new Phoenix is merely the offspring of the older one. In very few stories they are able to change into people  (I found this on WikiPedia) and it is in keeping with the mythology that I learned in high school.  

I have begun this blog in the hopes of helping women in the world come to an understanding of their eternal self-worth.  Whatever life experience you come from you are of worth.  I lived in an abusive marriage for 23 years.  I came to find out that I was so entrenched in the idea of making my bad marriage work that I ignored all the signs of what my marriage really was and wasn't.  I'm not an advocate of divorce for just any reason.  I do believe many things in a marriage can be worked through and overcome.  However, that said, I do believe that divorce is the final answer in very many cases and women often can't come to terms with it because we have been conditioned to take care of our "family" at all costs...which means in many of our minds....we stay in a bad even abusive marriage for the sake of having a mother and father in the home hoping against all odds that things will get better if we somehow do things differently.  This is problematic in most cases because in a marriage, it takes both partners to influence change and it takes the work of both partners to facilitate change.  In essence.....both partners have to want the change.  This is rarely the case in an abusive situation.

I come before you a broken woman who is rising into the world as a transformed being.  More positive and happy than I have been in many many years.  I feel free to allow the healing finally and I want to share my experience with you.   This blog is my place to heal from all the ills my ex husband imposed into my life by his heinous acts.   I have many faults and I am far from perfect........but one of my faults is not the dissolution of my marriage.  I simply carried the money to the lawyer and demanded that I be allowed to let out of the horrid situation my ex husband had created for our family.  I am here not only to heal but to help.  If I can be of service to anyone who comes to visit this page, reach out and ask...I am only a post away.

You are stronger than you think you are........keep good people around you and know you are loved.

PHOENIXRISING